Bag of Chips

So you think you're all that and a bag of chips? So do we!

WWE Hell in a Cell predictions

I don’t know why this is, but for the last little while, these pay per views have been booked very poorly. Perhaps it’s just repetitive booking, as this card looks almost identical to the last one. I’ve noticed a pattern on Raw lately, where the opening and closing segments have been great, but the middle portion has been incredibly boring. Sadly, I can’t see this pay per view being much different, although it does look a little better than Battleground. As of now, there are only six matches on the card, and based on the theme for this pay per view, I can completely understand why more haven’t been added. There may be one or two added at the last minute, but I would keep it to just six, because if all of the top matches get more time, then this show could be a pleasant surprise.

So here are my predictions from start to finish…

Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Shield (Rollins and Reigns) vs. The Usos in a triple threat match for the WWE Tag Team Championships


Looking up and down this card, I really can’t picture any other match starting this show. They need to start strong to end strong, and if they want to start strong, this is the match to do it with. For whatever, the Rhodes brothers have been white hot since they won their jobs back at the last pay per view, and I’ve generally enjoyed that angle, as well as the fact that they are now heavily involved in the central storyline. I think the only reason the Uso’s are in this match is so one of them can take a pinfall, while keeping the other two teams strong. But I do appreciate that the Uso brothers have been added to this match, as it kind of adds them to that main event mix as well; at least for the time being. Also, with the Uso’s in the match, I think this match could steal the show, as they have been really impressive lately. I can see the Usos eventually winning these titles, but not just yet. I see Ambrose getting involved at some point, just when it looks like Cody and Goldust are about to retain. As Ambrose argues with the ref, denying his interference, Cody takes him out with the disaster kick. Cody then hits one of the Uso’s with Cross Rhodes, while Goldust simultaneously hits the other with the curtain call. Before Goldust can make the pin on his guy, he’s speared out of the ring by Reigns. Rollins then sneaks in and pins the one Uso, at the exact same time that Cody is pinning the other Uso. The referee counts Cody’s pinfall and awards the decision to the Rhodes brothers, but I’m thinking that Triple H will later intimidate the ref into reversing the decision, and saying that Rollins pinned the other Uso first, so The Shield get the titles that way (I don’t think it will matter that they win the belts back in this fashion, since they’re heels anyway).

[Triple H is in the back with Vickie Guerrero, watching the monitor]

Triple H: Do you believe that? We’ve had enough problems with referees lately. You know what, I’ll get to that when the time comes. There are more important things that we need to discuss, Vickie. As far as tonight goes, are we all set?

Vickie: Just like you asked, boss. We have plenty of security at all entrances tonight. Anybody that shouldn’t be here is not getting in. You have my word.

Triple: That’s not good enough! You saw what that big son of a bitch did on Raw last week. I don’t want a repeat of that tonight.

Vickie: I’ll handle it personally.

Triple H: Then get to it!

[Triple H leaves and Vickie starts looking worried. Alberto Del Rio enters]

Del Rio: Hola Vickie! Como estas?

Vickie: Save it Alberto. I’ve got enough on my plate tonight.

Del Rio: Take it easy mamacita! Don’t worry about Cena. I got it under control.

Vickie: Mamacita? Now that’s hitting a little close to home.

Del Rio: No disrespect, Vickie. I just wanted to talk about my match tonight. You know, now that you brought it up, after all the pressure that you’re under tonight, maybe you should reconsider this match with John Cena. I mean who even knows if he’s fully healed? He could get hurt.

Vickie: First of all, I didn’t bring it up. Secondly, your match with John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship is still on, and from what I hear, he’s in even better shape than he was when he left. But now that you’re here, I was thinking that since this is Hell in a Cell, that your match could use a little flavour to it…like, say…no disqualification.

Del Rio: Estas loca?

Vickie: You better watch who you’re talking to. But you know what, I’m a fair woman. So I think I’ll let you choose the stipulation. Either you can go through with this no DQ match, or we can have one more Hell in a Cell match tonight.

[Del Rio gets mad and leaves]

Vickie: Good luck, Alberto!

AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella for the Divas Championship


I think AJ has been fantastic all year long, but the same cannot be said of either Bella twin, and I’m just so tired of them constantly being pushed. I can see Tamina getting involved at some point, only to be caught red-handed by the official and then ejected. While the referee is instructing Tamina to leave, AJ tries to use the belt, but Nikki gets in the ring and grabs it from her, only to use it on her own sister. This leads to AJ locking on the black widow, but since Brie is already unconscious, the ref stops the match and awards the decision to AJ, who leaves with both Tamina and Nikki.

[Paul Heyman is pacing back and forth in the locker room, while Curtis Axel is sitting on a chair with his head down and a towel around his neck, as he just lost the Intercontinental Championship to Big E. Langston on the kick-off show]

Axel: I’m sorry.

Heyman: Sorry? Your sorry?!?! Curtis, do you understand what this means? This means we have ZERO momentum heading into tonight’s match. It’s kept me up at night just thinking about it. I can’t sleep. I can’t even eat. And it’s all because of the thought of what CM Punk might do to me tonight.

Axel: But Ryback’s gonna be out there.

Heyman: Yeah for once, you’re right. Ryback is my insurance policy tonight. In fact, he’s the only Paul Heyman guy that I’ve been able to depend on lately.

Axel: Paul, I promise, I’ll make this up to you.

[Axel gets up]

Axel: Whenever you need me tonight, you just give me the word, and I’m there.

Heyman: Curtis, you had your chance tonight and you blew it. You lost the Intercontinental Title to a rookie. You want to impress me? Go do something about it.

Axel: But Paul…

[Ryback shows up and gets in Axel's face]

Ryback: SIT DOWN! (looks at Heyman) Let’s go!

[After the package for the handicap Hell in a Cell match, cameras are with Triple H, who is racing towards the parking garage, as his car is apparently being towed]

Triple H: What the hell is going on? What is the meaning of this?

Officer: Sir, this is a tow zone. Unfortunately, we’re going to have to take your vehicle.

Triple H: Tow zone? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?

Officer: Just doing my job, sir. Now please step aside.

[Triple H's car is towed away and The Game is seething]

Triple H to himself: Damn it!

CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman in a handicap Hell in a Cell match


I’ve very much enjoyed the interaction between Punk and Heyman, but adding Ryback to this program was a big mistake in my opinion. I think they proved within about two weeks that not even Paul Heyman can get Ryback over. His entire heel run has been terrible. I can see this match being booked like most Ryback matches. The match starts with Punk immediately diving through the rope to meet Ryback, Punk builds some momentum and keeps trying to go after Heyman, only for Ryback to prevent that from happening every time. Ryback then controls the match for the next little while. Punk finally builds his comeback and hits Ryback with the GTS, but Heyman pulls the ref out of the ring. Punk then catches Heyman by the tie, only for Ryback to shut him down once again. Curtis Axel then comes to ringside with bull cutters and clips the padlock on the cage door. As Axel enters the cage, Punk drops Ryback with a roundhouse kick and then dives through the ropes, knocking Axel back through the door. Punk then joins Axel on the outside and beats the hell out of him. Ryback then comes outside the cell as well. He and Axel try double-teaming Punk. Axel then pulls out a pair of handcuffs that he brought with him. Punk fights Axel off and then swings the cage door in Ryback’s face. Punk then handcuffs Ryback to one of the chain links of the cell and takes Axel out with a GTS. Punk then locks eyes with a very worried Paul Heyman, who is still inside the cell. Punk slowly closes the door and chases Heyman around the cell, and eventually catches up to him. Punk beats Heyman to a pulp and taunts Ryback, who is handcuffed and can’t do anything. Punk then traps Heyman in the anaconda vice. Heyman violently taps and the ref signals for the bell, but Punk refuses to release the hold. The bell is rung a few more times, until Punk finally releases the hold. It’s then announced that the referee has reversed his decision, because of Punk’s refusal to release the anaconda vice. This annoys Punk, who lands one more kick into Heyman’s ribs and then floors Axel on the outside with another roundhouse kick, as Punk and Ryback have an intense stare-down. Heyman is carted away on a stretcher.

[Triple H is in his office, giving his insurance information to the police]

Triple H: I am pressing full charges. This is ridiculous! And I want to know who’s responsible.

Stephanie: Hunter?

Triple H: Not now. I’ve told you already, it’s a rental car. But I’m not done with you yet.

Stephanie: Hunter?

Triple H: What is it? Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something here?

Stephanie: Hunter, look!

[Triple H looks at the monitor]

Triple H: I’ll have to call you back.

[The camera pans to show what's on the monitor, and we see that Big Show is outside the arena in a monster truck, as the same officer that Triple H spoke with approaches it]

Triple H: That son of a bitch!

[Back to outside the arena]

Officer: Mr. White, here are the keys you requested.

Big Show: Thank you, I think I’ll keep those. That’s the car, right there?

Officer: That’s the one.

Big Show: You might want to step back.

[As Triple H and Stephanie continue to watch on, Big Show speeds across the parking lot and destroys the car. He then gets out of the car and looks into the camera]

Big Show: Having a bad day, Hunter? Hahaha! Oh, don’t forget your keys.

[Big Show tosses the keys away and then walks off, as the camera goes back to Triple H's office and gets a close-up of Triple H's annoyed expression]

The Real Americans vs. Los Matadores

This match will be added to the card on Smackdown this week and I’ve really been impressed that both teams have been kept strong lately; especially The Real Americans. I have to imagine that this is the night that the Real Americans’ luck will run out. Regardless, this should be a good, short match to keep the crowd entertained. I’ll predict that Cesaro gets at least one impressive move in, but Los Matadores get the win with their double Samoan drop on Swagger.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena in a no disqualification match for the World Heavyweight Championship


I was thinking about making this match the main event. First of all, whether he’s loved or hated, Cena is going to get a huge reaction for his return. Also, I think it’s good for Del Rio to be put in a position of importance for once. I never thought these two ever had that much chemistry, but hopefully something clicks in this match. I see Del Rio continuously going after Cena’s elbow to set up for the cross armbreaker. He eventually gets it, only for Cena to reach the ropes. Cena then mounts a comeback and starts hitting the five moves of doom. Del Rio avoids the AA and heads to the floor. He then gets himself counted out, but the ring announcer says that if Del Rio doesn’t return to the ring by the count of 10, he’ll automatically lose the title. Before he has a chance to react, Cena attacks Del Rio in the aisle and drags him back to the ring. He finally hits the AA and makes Del Rio tap to the STF to become the new World Heavyweight Champion.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan in a Hell in a Cell match for the WWE Championship with Shawn Michaels as the special guest referee


I have no doubt that this match will be great, but the booking has been very repetitive and there haven’t really been any major twists or turns to it lately. I’m thinking there will be another screwy finish here, most likely involving Michaels. The way that they’ve been pushing Michaels being Daniel Bryan’s trainer on TV lately makes me think they’ll go with a double-cross here. In the finishing sequence, Orton tries for the RKO, but Bryan counters into the No Lock. Orton looks like he’s about to tap, but then he rolls over so he can reach into his tights and pull out a pair of brass knuckles, which he knocks Bryan out with to break the hold. Orton only gets two out of that. He then hits an RKO, but again only gets two. Orton then starts picking up Bryan’s dead weight for one more RKO, but decides to just drop him. Orton then backs up to set up for the punt, but Michaels steps in his way. Michaels and Orton argue. Orton then slaps Michaels in the face. Michaels loses it and goes for sweet chin music, but Orton avoids him and Michaels accidentally kicks Bryan, which leads to another RKO from Orton and the victory (this finish is still kind of open-ended, where they could book towards an eventual Michaels heel turn, where he comes back from one more match against Bryan at Mania next year, or it could lead to Bryan against Triple H, or they could even have Bryan win this match and then go with Michaels against Triple H).

Here are my match predictions for Survivor Series:

Team Triple H (Mark Henry and The Shield) vs. Team Bryan (Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, Goldust and Christian) in a traditional Survivor Series elimination match - If Hunter’s team wins, Bryan can no longer challenge for the WWE Title as long as Orton’s the champion, but if Bryan’s team wins, he gets a title match at TLC. Mark Henry obviously returns as a heel. He makes his return as Bryan is being beat down by The Shield on Raw, and as everyone thinks he’s going to save Bryan, but he ends up taking him down again with a World’s Strongest Slam.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship - I was originally going to make this a title unification match, but I don’t see it being the main event, and I think that kind of match should be saved for WrestleMania. So Orton takes Cena out with the same move that he did to Miz a few weeks ago, which leads to Damien Sandow cashing in MITB on Cena.

Triple H vs. The Big Show in a no holds barred match - If Big Show wins, he gets his job back, but if Triple H wins, Big Show gets rehired, but as Triple H’s personal servant.

Team Punk (CM Punk, Rey Mysterio, Big E. Langston and Los Matadores) vs. Team Heyman (Ryback, Curtis Axel, Alberto Del Rio and The Real Americans) in a traditional Survivor Series elimination match - If Punk’s team wins, Punk gets five minutes alone with Heyman. If Heyman’s team wins, Punk’s career is over.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane in a casket match

Damien Sandow vs. The Miz for the World Heavyweight Championship

Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella


Categories: Wrestling

Got a comment? Do it the easy way with Facebook.

Subscribe to email feed

  • RSS
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin
  • Youtube

Preview: UFC 171 - H

There have certainly been a lot of history-making nights and history-making fights in the UFC within the last 12 months or so. And when the promotion heads to Dallas this Saturday, the two men whose names are on the marquee are hoping to create another one. This is the first time in almost four years that a new UFC welterweight champion will be crowned and needless to say, whoever leaves Dallas as champion will have definitely earned that title.

TNA Lockdown predict

Whoever came up with the idea to reduce these pay per views to three or four per year should really be promoted, because this is one of the smartest decisions this company has ever made. It really does make these shows seem more important, and this one in particular has been built very well.

WWE Elimination Cham

It's the last stop on the road to WrestleMania. As cliche as that sounded, it couldn't be more appropriate this year as the main event that it looks like we're getting at Mania does not look all that appealing, and part of the reason for that is because we've seen it so many times over the last decade or so.

Preview: UFC 170 - R

So we've come this far, have we? Of course, I can't say the same for Rashad Evans. As we should all know by now, Evans had to bow out of his fight, due to injury, and we certainly wish him a speedy recovery. But I'll get to that when the time comes. Going back to my first sentence, the UFC has really come a long way. It was only a couple of years ago that Dana White said that women would never fight in a UFC cage. And now, they're main-eventing. Not only that, but there are two women's fights on this card, so it's great to see how this sport has evolved over the last decade or so.

The joys of online d

It's amazing how dating has evolved over the last decade or so. Remember when people used to have actual conversations, instead of just exchanging texts and e-mails? Most people of this generation don't.

Twitter Updates

No public Twitter messages.